How to Speed Up a Tardy Team 

Dear Bonnie,

I have a problem with delivering on schedule. My technical team eventually gets their job done, but it takes them forever to complete anything. How can I light a fire under them so I can complete my projects more quickly, and more importantly, on time?

Signed, Is it done yet?

Dear Is it done yet,

Ah yes, the elusive on-time tech team—known to inhabit the wilds of your organization like a snuggle of sloths: adorable and clearly not in a rush. (I looked it up. That cute curled up pile of sloths is called a snuggle.)

Let’s start with a revolutionary concept: maybe they aren’t a snuggle but, rather, a scurry of squirrels (yup, checked that one too) doing other stuff. You’re teed off that your project is moving slower than a sloth on a NyQuil drip, while they could be buried by higher priority acorns that someone (probably with more clout and an intimidating glare) told them to finish first. Try asking them nicely what’s going on and, even better, if there’s anything you can do to clear their path. Bribing them with nutty snacks can’t hurt.

Next, remember that tech teams are usually zip-tying the entire infrastructure together while fending off the latest “urgent” request from someone who yells and also thinks their mouse is a dysfunctional laser pointer. If your project is languishing on the “once the network stops crashing” list, you have two options: yell louder than the others (not recommended) or consider hiring a contractor whose job it is to care about your project because you’re paying them to.

And finally, the nuclear option: sponsors. You know, the people who can send a single email, which prompts the team to act like they’re in a Red Bull commercial. If your project has real value (at least in your opinion), get your sponsor involved. Nothing lights a fire under a slothful tech team like a VP breathing down their neck like a caffeinated Komodo dragon. If your team is scurrying, you can earn their everlasting loyalty by coaxing your sponsor to protect your team’s time and sanity like a mama bear warding off unreasonably demanding stakeholders.

Good luck! If all else fails, you can say that the delays are part of your “iterative process.”

Cheers,

Bonnie

I sincerely apologize to any species I’ve offended by omitting them from the metaphors in this article.

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This article belongs to the Bonnie’s Project Pointers newsletter series, which has more than 89,000 subscribers. This newsletter is 100% written by a human (no aliens or AIs involved). If you like this article, you can subscribe to receive notifications when a new article posts.

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